Starting when I was about 12 and was "playing house" with a fellow sissy and some boys we knew, I wanted to be with guys in a big way! Older men that I would see in locker rooms would really turn me on too!
All the girls liked me as a close friend, but they would not date me. In college they would take a pleasurable pussy licking from me, but still they would not date me.
But things sort of changed after college. I took a job in small town and really nothing went on there. It was a conservative setting, as opposed to the liberal setting of a campus at a major university.
|I wanted to be like this!|
I did have some relations with a guy who lived in the same apartment house -- that's a story for another day -- but not much went on with me sexually unless it was on a visit back home.
There was a mid-sized city not far away and there were bars and clubs there but nothing as far as LGBT as far as I could see. This went on for a year and a half until I got an offer for a better job in the big city and I had to take it. It was actually in the same city as my university.
The gay scene there flourished. But the tranny scene really did not. So I would wear a pair of shorts and a tank top and sandals -- and smell really nice and feminine -- and go into a couple of these gay bars.
I just felt really unwelcome in those places. I felt pretty much ignored. Those guys in there were not looking for someone like me. They were looking for the same thing I was -- a hunky guy! Only the old guys would talk to me. But I was not that desperate yet!
I kept going though, but the last straw was when some men in there would say things like "what the fuck are you doing in here" or "get you pretty little ass out of here before we take turns filling it." Sometimes I would leave after not finishing my first drink.
So I did not find myself fitting into the ordinary gay lifestyle. I guess finding a man who wants someone who is a sissy or is transgendered is hard to do, no matter what you see on the Internet.
So, I ended up being with a woman after all. More to come. And oh, does this sound familiar to anyone else?