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Monday, September 24, 2012

A pathetic sissy watches

This is pretty much like
what I saw through
the window.
As I have written on this blog and my other blog, I had a very mixed up period of being a sissy teen and young adult. I had crushes on boys and gave oral pleasure to boys. I wanted to be a girl. But because of social pressures of a teen boy being with another teen boy, I thought that I should maybe strive to be with a girl.

But that was easier said that done if you are a sissy. Girls wanted to be my good friend and that was about it. They would go out with me to do stuff as a friend but it was not a "date." In college, there were girls that I gave oral pleasure to, but they were not girlfriends. Just special friends. I bet you know what I am talking about.

I would have feelings for these girls, even though I knew it would probably not go anywhere than me giving them oral pleasure. Then, during college, this one particular girl -- a pretty blonde -- came along. We were really close, closer than just friends, or so I thought. Spent a lot of time together, talked all the time. I thought maybe we were a couple. Would have been a first for me, because as I said, girls wanted to be only good friends with a sissy like me.

So things were going along -- and as I said I thought we were a couple and she had even said that -- when one evening I went to drop in on her at her place unexpectedly. I happened to notice the car belonging to a male friend of mine from high school parked outside. I thought WTF! I went up on the porch and before I knocked on the front door I looked in the picture window.

There she was, naked on the couch sucking, licking, devouring his cock! I was so hurt, as you can imagine. I kept watching from the shadows until he started cumming and she swallowed it! I stayed there as they cuddled and kissed and caressed after the BJ. My head was spinning by then, so I got out of there.

I was very very sad for a while because I knew that was just the way it was going to be. I should have known better to think that the girl and I were actually going to be a normal couple.

The other thing was that I had seen this guy's dick in our high school locker room and I have to say it was magnificent, a lot like the cock pictured above. So much more magnificent than my little thingy. I would have enjoyed pleasuring it over and over myself! Deep down, I could not blame her. And it would become hers to pleasure over and over and take deep inside her. They actually ended up dating and getting married.

I did not say anything to her nor to him about me seeing anything. We just grew apart and it was mostly because of her new-found love. She had no time for me anymore. I graduated from college and moved to another state for a job and found myself wanting to be with guys again until that also soured -- I told you I was always mixed up!

And here's the real kicker: After a good while, I actually found that episode to be exciting to me. As someone who also loved cock, I actually thought it was arousing as I replayed that night in my mind, seeing a girl I believed was my girlfriend pleasuring this beautiful cock while I stood on the porch as a pathetic sissy watching.

1 comment:

  1. Stevie: I feel for you! I have had experiences very similar to yours with girls. I am very small (and soft) and can't really "be with" girls anyway. They always see me as a friend only - never a "boyfriend." The girls will talk openly with me about the boys they are seeing, going to bed with, falling for, etc. They seem to know right off that I am a sissy. and they seem to know I have a little one and am inadequate for any kind of romantic partnership.
    But such is life for the sissy-boy.
    (I get to wear cute panties though -- and sleep in pretty things!)